


Something Wonderful, Terrifying, Hopeful, and New

by screwgravity



Category: Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: M/M, Millennium Falcon - Freeform, Post-Canon, kinda angst, skysolo, they do some kissin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-03
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:01:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,350
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25046572
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/screwgravity/pseuds/screwgravity
Summary: It's nighttime on the Millennium Falcon. Han and Luke are the only ones on board, having picked up another odd job after the war. But Luke can't sleep. Luke turns to Han for the comfort of a friend, but finds something more.
Relationships: Luke Skywalker/Han Solo
Comments: 9
Kudos: 170





	Something Wonderful, Terrifying, Hopeful, and New

**Author's Note:**

> I never intended to post this when I wrote it for fun a few months ago, but reading it again I thought "hey, why not". so here we are. (this is also why the summary sucks, sorry)  
> I feel like things move too quickly and the ending is too abrupt but also: whatever this was mostly a self-indulgent oneshot  
> anyways. enjoy!

It was rather late at night, or at least late at night somewhere. Floating in endless space, it was hard to tell. The Millennium Falcon was quiet, having found a place to dock to give them some time to rest. Leia was busy with some diplomatic event on Coruscant, and Chewie had expressed a strong distaste for this particular job for whatever reason, so it was just Luke and Han on board. They had been searching for a rare map in the outer rim for the last month (maybe it was a map, Luke wasn’t too sure. Han hadn’t really elaborated on it.).

Since the end of the Empire, it seemed like everyone was going back to the way things were before. Leia was back to her diplomatic princess duties. Han and Chewie were back to their questionable, possibly smuggling jobs. But Luke didn’t know what to go back to. Picking up his aunt and uncle’s business was never something he had been interested in, even before they died. He didn’t know if he could face piloting just yet. And being a Jedi? Training younglings? Luke could barely entertain the thought without his worst memories clouding his mind. Every way he turned he found a path too painful to face. So instead, he tagged along with Han on his questionable jobs just to have somewhere to be.

Luke had been trying to sleep, but his mind buzzed with worry and all the thoughts he didn’t want to acknowledge. It didn’t help that Han was fast asleep in the bunk across from him, reminding him of the fact that he was still awake when he shouldn’t be, starting a cycle of worry anew. So he got up to wander the ship, and ended up sitting in the cockpit. Somehow being in a different environment made things feel a little less terrible.

Luke looked up from the endless sky and stars outside the windshield to see Han step into the cockpit, his hair mussed like he had just gotten out of bed.

“Hey. What’re you doing up here? You should be sleeping.” He settled into the pilot’s seat next to Luke, attempting to flatten his hair. He wore loose pants, but lacked a shirt.

“Yeah, but I couldn’t. What are you doing here?” Luke focused his gaze on the softly blinking lights of the control panel.

“Got up to piss, but noticed you weren’t in bed. Figured I should come find you.”

“Well, thanks.”

“Sure. Listen, are you alright? You’ve seemed pretty off for the last week at least. I didn’t wanna say anything at first, but now you’re starting to worry me.”

“Would you believe me if I said I was fine?”

“Not a chance.”

Luke sighed and folded his arms across his chest. “Then no, I’m not. Not fine.”

Han didn’t respond, just waited quietly to see if Luke wanted to elaborate.

It was a couple minutes of tense silence before Luke spoke again. “It’s just - well - I don’t know. The war ended. And everyone went back to how things were before. Like nothing happened.” Luke took a shuddering breath. His voice was not much more than a whisper. “But too much happened. And I don’t have a 'before' to go back to.” His eyes were downcast and hard; his hands were clenched in his lap.

Han was still for a minute before he gathered the right words to respond.“I’m- I’m sorry. Fuck, you don’t know how sorry I am. And that’s not enough. I can’t make what you went through any better. I can’t pretend I understand what you dealt with and still deal with. Hell, I was just busy being an asshole through all that shit.”

Luke managed a hoarse laugh.

Han continued. “I’m sorry for that, for sure. I’m really trying to do better now. But it’s way too unfair that you had to face that shit on your own. So- just- I hope you know you’re not anymore. Alone, I mean. Because I’m here. For you.”

“Wow, that sounded difficult.” Luke joked as he swiped at his eyes.

“Just because I’m bad with words doesn’t mean I don’t mean it.”

Luke finally looked up at Han. His eyes were soft now. “Thank you, I really- thank you.”

“Of course.”  
Luke took a deep breath as he pulled his knees up to his chest. “I was just so...alone. Even after everything. It was better around you, that’s one of the reasons I stuck around. I don’t really know why it helped.” A quiet laugh escaped his lips.

Han reached over to sling his arm around Luke’s shoulders. “Aw, kid. But that can’t be the only reason you stuck around.”

Luke let his feet slide off his seat and back to the ground.“Oh no, you’re right. See, the main reason I stayed was for that handsome face of yours.”

“But sweetheart, you’re forgetting about this hair.” Han ran a hand through his hair. “And this body, too.” He wiggled his hips.

“God, how could I forget?” Luke reached out to touch Han’s hair without thinking. He let Han’s soft waves slide between his fingers, but his hand stilled when he caught Han’s gaze. His breath caught in his chest as his heart sped up. He let his hand slide out of Han’s hair and down to rest on his neck. Luke felt blood rising to his cheeks rapidly. Against his will, his eyes flicked down to Han’s mouth, then back up to his eyes.

Suddenly, impossibly, Han’s face was getting closer to Luke’s. Luke let his gaze drop to Han’s lips again, and this time he couldn’t bring himself to look back up. They looked impossibly pink, and Luke wanted to kiss them more than he’d ever wanted to kiss anyone before.

“Come here,” Han said, the words barely audible, even in the quiet cockpit.

Luke tore his eyes away from Han’s mouth.

“Come here,” Han repeated, only slightly louder.

Luke obeyed, and climbed out of his seat and over to Han’s. He sat lightly on the arm of the chair. “Like this?”

Han sighed in exasperation. “No, you idiot, get on my lap. I’m tired of us dancing around this. God.”

Luke’s eyes widened, but he didn’t waste a second before settling onto Han’s lap, straddling him. He didn’t have to say anything to know that was what Han meant.

Slowly, Han’s hands came to rest on Luke’s hips. Their faces drifted closer and closer until their foreheads touched. Luke could feel the heat of Han’s breath on his face. He couldn’t take his eyes off Han’s mouth.

Despite his assertive attitude, Luke knew Han wouldn’t take this final step. He was leaving the decision up to Luke. Luke knew if he got up and walked away right then, Han would let him go. If he kissed him, Han wouldn’t hold back. Luke could hardly breathe as he teetered on the line between what they were and something new. Wonderful, terrifying, hopeful, new.

Luke closed the distance.

And they were moving, trading kisses faster and faster. Luke’s hands ended up in Han’s hair again. Han gripped Luke’s thighs. Luke was flying, surrounded by sensation in the dark. He felt Han’s hands tighten as they moved backwards until Luke felt his back hit the control panel. A few beeps of protest sounded from beneath.

“Wait- panel-” Luke said against Han’s mouth.

Without missing a beat, Han shifted his hands to underneath Luke’s thighs and stood, lifting Luke with him. Han turned, and in a few steps had Luke pushed up against a wall. Luke moaned into Han’s mouth.

Hands. Lips. Tongues. It was a blur. Luke bit Han’s lip, and he tilted his head back, exposing his neck. Luke seized the opportunity and moved his mouth to the soft skin.

They were against the wall. On the floor. In the chairs. How much time had passed? Luke didn’t know and didn’t care. He was out of breath, but so was Han. He could barely think straight as he kissed him until his mouth was sore.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading!! <3


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